W: What’s the number? I’ll just write it down. Dave, can I borrow your pen?

M: No.         W: No?     M: No.

W: What sort of person won’t lend someone else their pen?

M: The sort of person I could be friends with.

W: I don’t believe you’re not gonna lend it to me.

M: You will soon…                         W: Just give me the pen!

W: All right, Robert. I will lend you my pen… if you sign this.

M: What’s this?

W: Terms and conditions. You aknowledge that your are borrowing my pen, and must return it to me as soon as you’ve finished using it to write down this number. You undertake not to chew the end of my pen at any time while it’s in your possession, and you agree only to use the red and green biros and not the blue and black ones because those are my favourites.

M: Alright. Fine. If that’s what it takes to get you to lend me your pen, I’ll sign it… Can I borrow a pen?

W: No.